if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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