It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
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There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
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Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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