I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
