you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize