it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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