with your own penis?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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