i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
