I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
