Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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