Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
