YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it was like eating out sand paper
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
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All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize