How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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