i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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