you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
