so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
