Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
