so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
