Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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