I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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