Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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