i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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