You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
