I skipped work to stalk him.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
