I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
