So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
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I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize