I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
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Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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