i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
