its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
