Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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