I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
