dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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