The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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