talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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