I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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