i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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