I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
