You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
