Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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