i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The Olympian is in my bed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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