You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
