For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
