I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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