I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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