dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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