If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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