Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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