Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
