i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Your cock deserves a montage
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
