Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i barfeds in our rink
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
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Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
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I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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