I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
