I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
