I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
