You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize