just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
