Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
