The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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