He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize