how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
