I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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