Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
