I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
