Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize