I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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