Screwed.edu
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
