a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
